The bigness of God

IT HAS beeen a rather depressing week for NTU this past week -- two deaths in the space of five days, both from Electronic and Electrical Engineering. The first, David Widjaja, alledgedly stabbed his professor and fell to his death. The second, a Chinese National, apparantly hung himself in his apartment.

With the economic crisis hitting the nation hard, it seems that we might expect more of such news in the coming months. Dark days and depression might become more commonplace, people will fret more over their jobs, over money, and over every worry and concern that might come their way.

In the case of David Widjaja, perhaps it was his studies that did him in. That is the theory that the mainstream media seems to be pushing, but whether it is true or not is another matter.

While dramatic, such cases are old hat really. How many times have we heard in Singapore of suicide and attempted suicide cases over studies and poor results. If my memory serves me right, it is quite substantial. And I believe this is just the tip of the iceberg. The media has a policy of not reporting every suicide case for fear of "copycat suicides" -- so what what we are seeing is just a drop in the ocean.

It makes me wonder -- is it all worth it? Is it worth to take one's life because everything has spun out of control? It is easy to say it is not. But depression is not an easy thing to overcome. I know, because I certainly have been through it before. While I've never reached the point of being suicidal before, I know how is it like to have thoughts bombard your head -- thoughts that do you in, thoughts that put you down...

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Do you have "Inner Blindness"?

BEGGARS INVADE our streets, swarm the hawker centres, and crowd the roadsides. Some of them are blind, some disabled, others look like your ordinary auntie or uncle. Well, they aren't exactly beggars in the strictist sense, but in a land where begging is illegal, they sell tissue and play instruments instead.

The blind ones seem especially grotesque, their faces are often quite contorted and twisted, their lips tangled up in an awkward position. Their eyes are dirty white, and one wishes some of them had put on shades. They walk at a snail pace, a stand-out in fast-moving Singapore, waving their stick about in front of them. The walking cane seem to take on a life of its own, feeling about, shifting left-right left-right at a rapid pace.

Despicable, detestable, disgusting -- certainly not a sight STB would want tourists to see. But yes, they exist in large numbers -- these impoverished folks -- sleeping under HDB apartments and outside MRT stations

While the blindness of some of these people are pretty obvious, are we -- able-bodied, relatively well-off Singaporeans -- the truly blind ones? Are we so caught up with the rat race and the chasing of grades that we forget those who do not have the same opportunities as us? Do material concerns so engulf us that instead of being the consumer, we become consumed by the pursuit of wealth...

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